It's been 2 months. I'd like to say that life is easier; that I've embraced this new chapter and am doing just fine. I am...kinda.
Some days are great. I get an update from daughter number 1 that's full of stories and excitement and my heart soars with pride. Even her challenges and struggles are exciting because she's living life. She's beginning to make her way and I get to be witness to the amazing woman that I helped to develop. I've even had a few "thank you's" for teaching her some of the lessons that were not so easily received when she was at home.
Some days are painful. I notice her absence in so many places. I walk down the hall and see her "not there" in the morning. I notice the empty space when we sit for family dinner. On these days I chastise myself for being mellow dramatic. I think of those close to me who have suffered true loss. I'm lucky. I haven't lost her; I'm just learning to re work life with her from a distance. It's still hard though.
I think, overall, it's getting easier. Who knows, maybe by Christmas it's going to be difficult to figure out how to fit her into this new, rearranged life. Let's see what the next few months will bring.
