One of the hard parts of Separation, that people don't often prepare us for, is the
vastness of facing all of life's little situations afterwards. As we Move On, and start rebuilding our lives, there can be a million small ways that reminders of what we've lost come creeping in.
The initial Separation is tough, but Moving On is is tough as well! There will be so many Firsts that will bring in memories of happy times. There will be stories from your children, or friends, about happenings at "the other home" that you are not longer a part of. There will be moments when you run into people from "that life" and pause with an awkwardness as you both notice the distance . There will be reminders that things have changed as you see your past him or her with a new person on their arm.
All of these are a part of The Moving On. All of these can feel like a new, punch in the gut and can leave you reeling. All of these can reopen the pain and old wounds. It's important, then, that we are prepared. We must KNOW that there will be these firsts. We must KNOW that there will be situations that open the old wounds and bring our pain to the surface. Being aware and prepared means that the pain won't be as harsh. And then we can KNOW that as life Moves On, and as time shifts further away from the firsts, we'll start to heal. The New Normal will set in and we'll find our groove.
So, be gentle with yourself. Have patience. KNOW that the pain will not always be as intense as it is in the beginning. KNOW that with time, both of you will Move On and you'll find the amazing life that is meant for each of you.
